Advice from Formerly Anxious Teens

Several former teen clients wholeheartedly agreed to talk with me and provide some inspirational hindsight to share with others. The hope is to help anxious teens see some light at the end of the tunnel by hearing from teens and young adults that were once struggling with anxiety and are now doing exceptionally well. I asked them if they thought they were completely over having anxiety or had just learned to manage it more effectively - “yes, and!” was the general answer. Yes, they all felt that they had learned to manage stress and anxious feelings more easily and (even during Covid times) they said they have less anxiety in general. The goal is not to eliminate all anxious feelings, but rather to be more able to regulate our responses to life including stressors.  

When I asked what advice they would give to a teen experiencing anxiety here were the themes:

1. Hold on! - it does get better. If you are actively seeking help for your anxiety and using tools, you will find what works for you. Please hold on to hope and keep going.

2. Be patient. That means being patient with yourself, others, therapy and life. “If clients/teens/people could somehow get that they need to be patient, it would help.” It can be scary to feel like you’re never going to feel better. It is normal to want immediate relief, but feeling better really does involve patience.

3. More balance. If you are anxious because of schoolwork or expectations, please relax the idea that school or those expectations are most important. Your health and happiness is more important. Look for easy ways to find more balance - like even 15 mins of fun stuff. Also, spend time with friends, keep busy with activities and friends which can help in being tired at night. Being tired at night instead of up worrying is a good thing. One piece of advice is, “If you are really tired from activities and friends, you have less sadness going to bed.” 

4. The “work” in therapy is outside of sessions. Counseling is helpful and you need to realize it’s not just about checking the box for attending. The real healing is from actually doing the work the rest of the time (outside of sessions).

5. Eat well. Improving eating habits and taking time to learn about food/mood can be life changing. Your brain (and gut) needs better food to help your mood. 

6. Use supplements when needed. Magnesium and other supplements helped some, but eating good food regularly is key. Taking magnesium powder at night was helpful (for many), but you really have to commit to the whole thing - food, therapy, using relaxation tools & taking the supplements regularly. 

7. Friends matter. Get your friend group situated - doesn’t have to include lots of friends, just one or two really good people. Let go of friends that are not supportive and do what you can to find a good friend group.