Courageous Parenting

April 9, 2020

Having spent most of my career focused on parent education and working with families, I think what strikes me in these trying times of a pandemic are the countless examples of amazing parents stepping up and doing their best to provide comfort, consistency, guidance and safety for our children. I believe the most powerful stance we can take as parents is one of courage. Witnessing (or hearing about) the kindness and courage of people never gets old. I have the great privilege of watching courage and transformation before my own eyes as part of my work. We are amazingly resilient creatures - in fact, the resilience I saw in counseling children early in my career was so astounding and I have studied the subject of courage from that time forward. One of the most helpful sayings I learned in grad school was from a speech given in 1957 by Rudolf Dreikurs called “The Courage To Be Imperfect.” Essentially, Dreikurs made popular the idea from Adlerian Psychology that we must be willing to have the courage to be imperfect - imperfect people & imperfect in our parenting. Frankly, it is a relief to embrace my imperfect parenting. Here’s what we know from the data collected by researcher Dr. Brene’ Brown and team, there is not a single example of courage that doesn’t include vulnerability. Vulnerability is part of the deal in living a courageous & wholehearted life.

It seems to me that we are all doing our best as we navigate this new way of life. I see the fear, anxiety and trauma around us. I also see the kindness, resilience and bravery around us. My favorite thing about humans is the way we come together and help each other. I am so thankful for all the healthcare workers, teachers, farmers, drivers, grocery store folks, volunteers and others helping us stay healthy, safe, fed and sane (mostly sane). Those of us not on the frontline helping with this pandemic are finding ways to be helpful from a distance, staying as connected as we can and doing what we can for our families. Thank you to all the parents rising up for their families. I see the courage. I appreciate you all.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage” — Lao Tzu